It's Natural To Be Afraid

So it has been approximately 7 months since my last entry. I am not sure what stopped my frequent post. I suppose love was the culprit. I fell in love with a girl from Chicago 1-1-11 and since then have spent more of my time pursuing her than pursuing the adventurous care free life I was living this time last year. I thought she was it. I thought I was ready to settle down do the whole job thing, you know, be an adult. I still feel that to an extent. Mention of traveling sends small tingles down my back but never enough to pack up and leave...Well I guess I already did that for love too. Somewhere a long my whirlwind romance I decided on moving to Chicago, IL to be with my love to start life, to be an adult. Little did I know that doing so would shake the very core of my being. I became a wreck when I officially settled in August. I became volatile, mean and aggressive. I saw a side of myself I didn't know existed. I became aware of my cultural identity. A Mexican-American lost in his own country never feeling fully complete by his surroundings. I couldn't be both. Never was quiet American, never quite Mexican. This led me to the Education of Frankie B. I learned about my culture, my Mexican-American people. I yelled from the rooftops Yo Soy Chicano and I was proud of it yet I still longed for more, I was not content. Long story short, I live in Chicago now, a place I hated at first but has slightly grown on me. I found work, I found my own place and now I continue to find myself, 2,000 plus miles from my hometown, my family, my friends, essentially, me and I am accepting of it. I look forward to what and whom this new year brings my way.

Life always has its way of working itself out.

May Nothing But Happiness Come Through Your Door